Training Progress

I’ve been training for almost 2 months now. Overall I’m rather pleased with the progress I’ve made; I’ve lost 12 lbs in the last two months and can see a noticeable difference with my appearance. Because so much time has been spent exercising I’ve been incredibly conscious of my eating habits. Last weekend while hiking I noticed that my balance and coordination have improved tremendously.

And…I haven’t been training hard enough. There are one million excuses I could give you, all of which would be bullsh*t. Truth be told, I haven’t been training hard enough because I’m embarrassed that I’m overweight. I’m scared of people judging me and making fun of me. I know that some people have and will; I also know that some people (my friends whom I love more than I can express) have the attitude that it is incredible that I’m trying.

People have generously donated and assisted me in my fundraising. I can’t let them down. I can’t let my teammates down, and most importantly I can not and will not let my honorees down. This all came to me last weekend thank goodness! It’s not to late to give it my all, after all Team in Training is still recruiting people for their fall season which includes the Nike ½.

Tuesday I faced one of my biggest fears and went to the track workout. It was hard; Paula has the patience of a saint with me; I did it (ok, most of it.) Muscles in my body that rarely see use are screaming still. Yesterday I downshifted and did some gentle yoga to soothe my body. Today I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to start a run still sore; but I did. I pushed and I ran (my pace is sloooow) for 14 minutes straight; I walked and then ran for another 4 minutes. Then I walked more and ran for another 10 minutes. All while incredibly sore.

I didn’t become overweight overnight and I won’t become thin overnight either. People will make fun of me; those people aren’t worth me worrying about. I’m lucky. Today I thought a lot about our honorees; I cried thinking about their struggles. If only their biggest worry was someone making fun of them.

I keep seeing the gorgeous smile of Maddie, who is 12 and has leukemia, in my mind. Justin, recently diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease. Maddie and Justin come and cheer us on at many training events. They are there, to cheer us on. It should be the other way around.

I thought about Brenda, a wife and mother who passed away. Cole, who passed away when he was not even 2 years old. Chris, not even 20 years old when he passed away, who lived everyday of his life to the fullest. Sonny, husband and father. The courage these families show, dealing with their grief while staying involved with the LLS.

It kind of puts things back in perspective.